Temporal Leech

There's a man who's a temporal leech of course. He absorbs the perceived time of those around him, shortening each individual second for them, while padding the perceived length of each second of his own. In fact, productivity as a human concept has been warped by this inherited trait for millennia. Humans are far more individually similar productivity-wise than we realize, but those temporal leeches among us rob of us our time and leap ahead of us in work and life, enjoying 2, 3, or even 4 seconds for each second that objectively ticks by. This apparent advantage is heightened by the fact that, by their parasitic nature, they're surrounded by those who possess the smallest fractions of each passing second. Perversely, we raise up and celebrate these timesuckers as productivity gurus and work horses, dedicated and tireless in their pursuits, unlike the lazy and unfocused masses. They use this increased productivity to win an outsized slice of the socio-economic pie, further preying on those around them. So hampered in our own productivity by their feeding, we as a society grow to depend on the fruits of their pilfered extra time, further solidifying their dominion over their livestock. We have truly become the sheeple in more ways than one. Wake up and cast suspicion on the productive among you!

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I wrote this one as a joke, but I still think it would be fun if played tongue in cheek.

I would want this idea framed from an NPC with full tinfoil hat syndrome and the buddy of the protagonist is derisively dismissive of it. Only for, unexpectedly, one of the accused parasites to admit it, but even then the skeptical friend can't buy it (reeeaalllly!?!?). 

Really pulling inspiration from South Park with this one (Please exercise all the NSFW caution one would clicking on any South Park link. Also, some stuff didn't age well, focusing on the central gag.):